Bleeding Myself Cold
by I'vebeenLOKI'Dyetagain
Summary: A collection of poems and freewrites, mostly from Loki's POV, but a few will be from Thor's.
1. Slipping Away

**I usually write these poems really late at night (or rather, really early in the morning,) when I can't get Loki and Thor out of my head. Which (fortunately? unfortunately?) is a very common occurrence. And this is what tends to happen. Anyways, I hope you enjoy:) **

* * *

See what I've become

broken and denied of love

dull eyes from trying to hide the pain

I think I might be going insane

discovered I'm the monster from my own nightmares

I'm slipping away but nobody cares

so vulnerable with my heart rubbed raw and bleeding

living in the shadows

but my eyes have adjusted to the darkness

I looked inside and realized

that I don't need your love

so this is goodbye

_brother_

but this is not the end

you'll be seeing me again

when I let go, did you cry?

I never mattered before you thought I'd died

I realized I could never be as good as you

but now I know what I can do

I've embraced my darkest side

I spent too long trying to hide

from myself but it never lasts

there's too many traumas in my past

I'm a monster

don't you understand?

I'm not your brother

I never was

don't you dare try and take my hand

you know the things I've done

I've found what I was looking for

now I'm having so much fun

come try and stop me

and I've already won

I let go and it set me free

I'm so much slier than you believe

got a thousand tricks up my sleeve


	2. Troubled Dreams

**Okay, I'm bored and I feel like posting another chapter! If you're reading this, then you rock:D **

* * *

Can't fall asleep

can't stay awake

drift in and out of troubled dreams

walk the line between the light

and the darkness

never one nor the other

lost in the twilight

try and count the dying stars

check to see if my heart's still beating

have to force myself to keep on breathing

confused and terrified

harden up my mind

till I'm numb to the pain

frozen on the inside

looking for my place

going insane

everything is just a lie

just a trick

just a game

you're talking to me

but I can't hear a word you say

the loneliness is slowly tearing me apart

the ground has crumbled from underneath my feet

and now I'm falling

tumbling through shattered memories

secrets lie twisting in the shadows

broken and dripping red


	3. Falling Apart

**Yeah I'm bored again! I actually finished all my homework before midnight... that is certainly a new development. Anyway, just a reminder, these poems are unpolished and are pretty much me just trying to get Loki out of my head so I can actually fall asleep, so I can't guarantee that any of them will be much good. **

**Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy! ****  
**

* * *

You'll never pin me down

here then gone

like the wind teasing with your hair

my presence is insubstantial

roiling black and feather light

got my demonic devil horns

you got your angel smile

too bad it hasn't been seen for a while

I laugh but I don't care

buried all the pain deep inside somewhere

can't hide the blood as it drips from my broken heart

I think I might be enjoying watching myself fall apart

I can feel my mind disintegrating

the pain is invigorating

I'm going out of control

falling down forever

in a massive black hole

I'm breaking promises

I'm breaking hearts

love deprived and it's all a lie

tearing myself apart


	4. Invisible

**I'm insanely bored. There seems to be a trend here. And there's so many things I should be doing... but I'm not. So I'm posting another chapter! It's quite short, but I hope you like... **

* * *

I'll simply disappear

you call out for me

but I'm not technically here

you turn around and look for me

only to find that I'm not there

and I'll just watch

listening

hiding behind the air

invisible to their stares

you're the only one who looks

'cause you're the only one who cares


	5. Distance

**I finished my homework early! As celebration, I will post another poem! Ehehehe:D ****ALL reviews are greatly appreciated ^.^ **

**This one's from Thor's POV, for a change.  
**

* * *

I feel you growing more distant each day

trying to remember all the things you would say

when we would talk late into the night

and laugh till we couldn't stand

* * *

I feel you growing more distant each day

only able to watch as you slip away

falling deeper and deeper into the dark

vortex of your mind

* * *

I feel you growing more distant each day

lying and saying that you feel okay

I could bring you back into the light

if only you'd take my hand


	6. Now I'm Heartless

**A huge thanks to the people who have reviewed, faved and/or alerted! Your support means so much to me *-* **

**Back to Loki's POV! I hope you enjoy ^.^**

* * *

We used to laugh and joke and hug

whisper bits of brotherly love

but that was when I had a heart

didn't know that I was cold

and that was before I could tell apart

the truths and the lies that I was told


	7. Lie To Me

**Yeahhhhhh I'm bored right now. So ta da! **

**And of course, a huge thanks to everyone who has alerted, faved and reviewed! You all ROCK *-*  
**

**I hope you enjoy! And it would be lovely if you could leave a review and let me know what you think ^.^  
**

* * *

Go ahead and lie to me

but you should know I can always tell

I can weave a lie out of a thousand truths

and a truth out of a thousand lies

I can tell what's going on in your mind

by simply looking into your eyes

you don't honestly want to hear the truth

just the lies you want to believe

never bother to ask because you don't care to know

no explanations needed

if there's a battle then you fight

if there isn't then you start it

knowing that you'll always be victor

but do you have any idea what it's like to try

when you know that you can't win

fighting because you've got nothing left to lose

you don't want to know what goes on in my mind

you're afraid of what you'll find

and you want to believe it so I tell you I'm fine

when I'm actually dying inside

trying to suppress the monster within

yet knowing how the battle's going to end

I've been holding back but I'm curious about what I can do

so I'm letting go and tearing myself away

I'm nothing but a shadow next to you


	8. Battle Cry

**Thank you so much for all your support! *-* I can't say just how much it means to me!  
**

**So, this is a short little poem from Thor's POV that I wrote when I was in a strange mood. **

**Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy! ****I would love it if you let me know what you think ^.^ **  


* * *

You were always

the master of disguise

and the master of lies

you're every extreme

and nothing in between

I can't tell the difference

between your laugh

and your scream

it's all just a battle cry


	9. Turn Away

**Thank you so much to everyone who is reading this! I hope you enjoy ^.^**

* * *

You turn away and pretend that you can't hear

me crying out

you turn away and pretend that I'm not there

in the shadows

barely hanging on

holding on by my fingertips

but what's the use?

I'm already gone

falling

deeper and deeper into my dangerous mind

every second feeling colder

the blue snakes up my arms

creeping

closer and closer to my heart

come on and look me in the eyes

when you tell me my whole life has been a lie

come on and look me in the face

when you tell me that I'm a monster

well alright

I can become your nightmares

when you wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night

screaming my name

your eyes glinting gold in the candlelight

and I can feel your fear

like I could feel the vibrations of your footsteps

traveling along the corridor

as you turned and walked away


	10. Monster I've Become

**Hey! I know it's been a while, but... I've been busy :/ Anyway, I'm bored and in a strange mood, so here's another little poem!**

**This is in Loki's POV. I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

All people will remember

is the monster I've become

and all the awful things I've done.

But promise me that when I'm gone

you won't just remember the things that I did wrong

but also all the things that I did right,

all the good times we had...

Promise you'll remember I wasn't all bad.


	11. Tricks And Lies

**Eheheheh, and you get another one! ^.^**

* * *

Do you have any idea what it takes to weave words into lies?

And to make them believe they can see truth in your eyes?

Words are so corrupting—

can make you believe almost anything.

Tricks and lies,

such weak minds.


	12. If

**Sorry, it's been _forever! _****But I have a ton of new freewrites that just need to be typed up, and maybe sanded down a little... most of them will be pretty short, but updates will likely be frequent now that it's summer :) Remember, these are really random pieces of feels that manifested in my mind, pooled and collected, dripping down the insides of my eyelids until I had to get it out on paper so I could actually fall asleep at night, so bear with me. I hope you enjoy though! (I will try to refrain from writing ridiculously ranting author notes in the future ;3)**

* * *

If you had asked me I would have told you;

but you never wanted to know.

...

If you had let me I would have held you,

and never let you go.


	13. Butterflies

Tickle breaths like darkness creeps

blue up your fingers, butterflies

and softly lingers

calling out

for hopeless wonders

wide-eyed, bright-eyed

in the shadows dancing along

the castle hallways like

torchlight blown out

by hallowed whispers


	14. WWLD?

**A bit of advice from Loki to Thor ;) **

* * *

I'll always be here;

I'll always be here for you.

But

if I'm not,

and your strength can't get you through,

take a breath and think to yourself:

What would Loki do?


	15. Magic

**Because he's just so cute! ^.^**

* * *

Green sparked flickering across your skin;

lighting up your eyes,

and your wicked little grin.


	16. Puddles Of Light

Blink the light out of your eyes

to drip down your face

in molten tears,

till your eyes are dull and dark,

flat and soulless—

voids in which you just keep falling.

Falling so deep down twisted turns

and frost-covered corridors,

your image flickering

in each puddle of torchlight.

You don't make a sound,

but you track footprints

of light across the inky floor,

and walk straight through

every locked door.

Your humorless smile

sends shivers down the flank of night;

and just to test each boundary and line

that should never be crossed,

you lie and cheat and trick and try,

but you're forever lost.


	17. Muzzled

Blink.

Blink.

_Can't speak—_

_cold jaded eyes._

Clink.

Clink.

_Can't speak—_

_wrists shackled tight._

Think.

Think.

_Can't speak—_

_over-calculating mind._


	18. Burdened

All around your head now,

a halo of hair and stars.

Lighten up your smile

(it looks like a burden it's so dark)

Evil in your eyes,

but mischief in your heart;

a voice like verbal firelight

(if hearts breaking made a sound)


	19. Fatal

**Tribute to Loki's fighting style and 'tricks' ;3**

* * *

Kitten-soft across the battle ground,

they won't see you till you take them down.

Then you steal away without a sound;

kitten-soft across the battle ground.


	20. Dark Energy, Dark Thoughts

**Though I guess this poem this poem doesn't have anything that makes it obviously Loki, it was definitely written with Loki in mind, and is basically meant to convey emotion.**

**Thank you so much to everyone who is reading these poems! I hope you enjoy ^.^**

* * *

Holding on, sorrowful, to a blank

full moon: like glistening—too soon.

Fizzles out like firecrackers

pop along the sidewalk, chalk

monster footprints across

the path, forever ingrained

into the palace of your mind;

and all the fires intertwined

to make faces glowing in the dark.

Closed eyes yet throw and hit

the mark, target practice

on your own broken heart; couldn't

really hurt to tear it further

apart. And nothing follows you

like lost kittens, and the shadow

of your long lost soul, already

Helheim-bound, eternity

crowned;

forgotten. Their sleepy breaths

like feather down drifting

softly to the ground, and nothing

was there, and emptiness that

nobody saw you fill.

Is it still there if

you can't see it?

You're not lost—

honestly.

(the world is not a good place

to be lost in)

You find that nothing

stays the same,

no matter what people say. Just

meant to be that way?


End file.
